Monday, July 11, 2011

The Importance of Proper Footwear

So there I was today, ripping out carpet in the brown parlor, listening to the Robert Earl Keen channel on Pandora, and cussing because the last bit of carpet was stuck to the floor extraordinarily well, all while wearing flip-flops.  This is a cautionary tale, folks.  (And if you follow me on Twitter, you know what's coming.)

I stepped into the closet to get a better angle for yanking on the carpet.  Ow!  Ow, ow, OW!  What the heck was that?!  I fell back against the closet wall and grabbed my right foot.  Blood dripped off the side of my $1.50 flip-flop.  (That's $1.50 for the pair, not just the one, so you know they're high-quality.)  I may or may not have said numerous very bad swears at that point.  I'd taken a copper staple to the foot. 

As I hopped on one foot to the bathroom, stringing blood through three rooms, I remembered that the night before, several of us had gotten into a discussion on Facebook about when and where it's appropriate to wear flip-flops. How ironic.  If I didn't have a hematoma the size of a quarter on the ball of my foot, I might even think that's funny.  Right then it just made me mad.  At myself, for wearing stupid shoes.  In fact, it made me so mad that after the bleeding stopped (apply-direct-pressure-with-a-clean-cloth-don't-lift-it-up-to-look-at-it-if-it-keeps-bleeding-you're-not-pressing-hard-enough) and I'd put on both a Band-Aid and some real shoes, I went back in the parlor, yelled out "Towanda!" (or a profane equivalent), tore out the carpet, and then yanked the staple out of the floor.  There's a practical reason for that last bit:  I wanted to make sure the staple was intact and part of it wasn't still in my foot. 

Tonight, at the direction of my favorite medic, my brother-from-another-mother Kenny, it's rest, elevation, ice, Tylenol if needed, and Vitamin C. ("Vitamin C?"  I said.  "Sure," Kenny replied, "It helps restore the blood supply.  Why do you think they give you oranges when you donate blood?")

Tomorrow, I'll be scraping the glued-down carpet pad off the floor and painting some trim.  And wearing proper shoes.


  1. Oww.

    Don't lift it up to look at it? Is that so blood will wash out debris? I always elevate a clobbered appendage for awhile, it seems to really reduce bruising.

    Up to date on tetanus shots, I hope?

    I did not know that about vitamin C and blood supply. I wonder how it does that. I know it's supposed to help healing.

  2. Nice to learn the vitamin C trick.

    Have you noticed what the women wear while filming those HGTV shows? I think they must have stunt decorators because they sure don't dress for the part!

  3. Karen Anne, At work we have a script we have to follow for 911 calls. (www dot emergency dispatch dot com--I'm certified in EMD & EFD) Those are the bleeding control instructions. "Don't lift it up to look at it" refers to the cloth on the wound. People see that blood's not gushing out anymore once they apply pressure, so they lift it up to look at it and the bleeding starts again.

    I thought I was current on my tetanus, but Kenny tells me every 7 years or after an injury. My last shot was 5 years ago, so I'll call my doc today & see what she thinks.

  4. Milah, I have noticed that! I saw a woman with one of those floaty shirts with the sleeves that have droopy cuffs, and she was supposedly getting ready to paint. Yeah, right. I wonder what kind of shoes they wear?? lol

  5. Ugh! One should also never wear flip flops walking through their yard after taking down the exterior aluminum trim. Nails can go straight through flip flops and into a foot. Or so I hear. You know you are an old house owners when you know exactly how current your tetanus shot is.