Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Return of WTB

It's summer, I don't care what the calendar says.

In support of my position, I offer the following:  I saw lightning bugs in my yard two nights ago, the ice cream truck is making its rounds in my neighborhood, I turned on the air conditioner in my house already, and yesterday I pulled a tick out of my toe. 

But the best and surest sign it's summer around here?  White Trash Bob has returned!  Hooray!  Okay, so he didn't really go anywhere, since he and Mrs. WTB live just down the street.  But you see, all winter long we go without seeing each other as we hibernate in our houses and suffer through the cold months, but when warmer weather arrives, so does White Trash Bob.  Kinda like the swallows of Capistrano...but not really.  

So today WTB appeared in my front yard to point out that digging up all that vinca really is a futile effort and I should just spray Round-Up all over it and wait until fall to plant.  With that, I flung down my digger, put my sweaty, filthy little arm through his, and led him to the first WTB Project of 2010.  Behold in the photo the carcass of my ugly yard light.  (A photo which looks far more like a crime scene than I had originally intended, but it was already dark when I thought to snap a picture.)  The yard light needed to be destroyed, and I knew that WTB was just the man for the job.  He took it apart and then saved me the trouble of picking out which breaker it was attached to by touching the wires together with a stick so that the breaker tripped.  WTB is a genius.  (Because I would've never figured out it's on the same circuit as the microwave and the basement light.)  WTB sawed off the yard light post, cut the wire and capped it, and then capped the stub of the post.  And yes, that is an empty tin can capping the stub for now, but later it'll get a PVC cap.  It'll also get an outdoor outlet, because WTB is a genius.  (Wait...did I say that already?)  Anyway, he shares my vision of my back yard someday looking like a cottage garden, and in his version of the vision (say that three times real fast!) there are small yard lights and a bubbling fountain.  For that, of course, I'll need an outlet.

And now, I need a shower, followed by a cold beverage and a nice bit of porch-sitting.  More about that back yard vision tomorrow, along with the latest photo of the paint.  Try to contain your anticipation.


  1. Go Bob! Go Bob! Go Bob! (Insert image of me dancing here. Or maybe not, I'd hate for you to not be able to sleep at night.)

    Hmmm, gee, who was it that told you the vinca was going to be a pain to get rid of? Oh, wait, it was me. ;-) I think Bob's plan is probably best, you may even need to spray it more than once.

    I wish I could join you for that drink.

  2. Yeah Bob! A super hero to the rescue! I love his vision for your back yard! Sounds awesome!

  3. I know I've said this before but I think it bears repeating: I LOVE White TRASH BOB!

  4. That light looks remarkably like the light I've been looking at and saying but if I cut the post off at ground level, what do I do about the electrical wire...

    You mean you can cap the wires somehow and bury them without this coming back to haunt you in the future, if you weren't planning to put outlets there? Or is that madness? I was assuming if I buried it it would deteriorate or get dug up in the future in all its electrical liveness.

  5. Karen Anne, Yep, Bob just cut the wire a little shorter than the stub of the pipe, split the wire, and screwed two electrical caps on the ends. The tin can (for now) and later the PVC cap on the pipe will keep the wire from getting too much moisture. It's rated for outdoor underground use (UF, I think they call it) so it shouldn't deteriorate. Once I cap it off with the PVC Bob says I can just leave it like that indefinitely. I could have left the breaker switched off and the wire wouldn't have been live, but one kitchen outlet and the basement light are on the same circuit, so it wasn't practical to leave the breaker off. So, the wire is still live, which is a good thing to keep in mind if I'm digging around out in the yard. I'm not sure how deep it's buried. Wouldn't want to hit that thing with a shovel!