I have six days off for the entire month of June. Six. For the entire month. This is not something I am particularly happy about, but since I can't do anything about it....Lord grant me the patience to.... Yeah. You know the rest.
Two of those days off are Saturday and Sunday, and I was speculating about plans for those days off with Bleu. "I think you oughta get them cedar shakes off the back of the house," he said. The rear wall of my house is still completely clad in ugly, dried out, circa 1971 cedar shake shingles, for very good reasons which I am about to explain.
"Um, okay, you saw that giant metal shed that backs up to the house, right?" I asked. Some idiot of a previous owner put a 9'x9' metal shed smack up against the back of the house, right under the bathroom window so that the window trim can't be accessed for repair or weather-stripping or paint. And whoever put it together didn't follow the assembly instructions that they left sticking in the ceiling, because there's a row of holes along the roof ridge that probably ought to have bolts or something in them to hold the roof together. And whoever owned the house since the shed was put there has used it as a dumping ground for all kinds of crap—boxes of half-hinges, insecticide, mole poison, screens that don't fit any window on the house, paint, tomato cages—to which, of course, I've added my own crap in the past three years.
"Well, yeah, but we can tear that thing down in no time," he said. He's probably right about that.
But then I thought of all the rest that needs to be done first....
"Okay, but before the shingles are ripped off the shed's gonna have to be torn down, and before it can be torn down it has to be cleaned out, and a lot of that stuff can't be thrown away in the regular trash so it'll have to wait for County HazMat Day, and before it's cleaned out I really oughta get a new shed, and before someone builds a new shed we have to tear down the carport like you said you'd help me with, cause that's where the new shed will go, and before we tear down the carport we need to see if there's really enough room in the alley for angle parking..." I took a breath and then said, "It's kinda like that old song about the lady who swallowed a fly and then a spider and then somethin else after that..."
"But I don't know why, she swallowed that fly," he sang.
"Exactly," I said.
"So forget I said anything," he laughed.
I'll be painting the house on my days off, I think.