Friday, January 8, 2016

Unstuck

Here's how things go around here:  I had the beginnings of a pretty good post written about how I am finally, really and truly, becoming "unstuck" from the emotional mire I'd found myself in for much of last year.  I felt pretty good about what I'd written but I wasn't sure if maybe I might be oversharing, so I took a break to check on my sheet pan supper (one of my new favorite things) and when I came back Gracie Cat was sitting on the laptop like a nesting hen and my post was completely gone. It's an allegory.  Oh yes, it is.

Without all the navel-gazing philosophy (not that there's anything wrong with that) what my post said is this: I need to get my shit together.  I've been faced with daunting tasks that should've overwhelmed me before and I got through those just fine.  Like when I peeled the ugly off of the outside of my house--two years and 40 bags of cedar shingles later, and there we were.  Or when my son and I decided to demolish the ugly 1960s porch and he accidentally set it on fire a few weeks before we made a giant engineering mistake that caused the whole thing to fall out into the yard and nearly crush us and our friend Steve.  All's well that ends well.  Back then I wasn't fearless (my bravado in the face of haters notwithstanding) but I went ahead and did something anyway, even though I was scared or nervous or not exactly sure how to get from Point A to Point B.  I did it.  I figured it out and I got through it.  It's not in my nature to be overwhelmed and timid but somewhere between losing WTB a couple of years ago, and then getting laid off, and then having a Greek-fucking-tragedy of a year in 2015 that's exactly what I became.  So now, I need to get my shit together.




Yep, like that.  More specifically, by actually doing something instead of saying with a sigh that I ought to do something.  There are three medium-to-large projects that I still either want or need to do around here (refinishing two floors, redoing the square bathroom, and finishing the side porch) and one extra-large thing  (my bedroom, previously known as That Thing We Don't Talk About) but all the other big stuff is done.  (Until something goes wrong or falls apart.) There are probably a dozen little jobs that need to be done, things that are free or nearly free and just need a combination of days off, motivation, and good weather to be completed.  None of it has a deadline.  

So I have plans.  Plans to get an idea of the total cost of each of those things I just mentioned, then decide which one's the most doable based on money, difficulty, and necessity, and then chop that big project into a whole bunch of smaller projects that I can dole out to myself over time.  In between, I'll do some of those little things to give myself small victories.  Here goes.



16 comments:

  1. I can't wait to see that side porch completed. I always thought it looked so quaint.

    You had some big changes in your life but you also might have had a bit of home restoration burn out. All the blogs that I used to read are gone. Now it's just design blogs and I have no interest in chevron or breastfeeding (seems everyone has babies and my baby is in his 30's) so I'm excited to have you back blogging this summer.

    How's Mare hand?

    Also when I get bogged down and bummed about not getting things done, I go to my blog and start looking at photos to remind me of all the work we have completed. You have done ALOT!! No shame in stepping back and taking a breather. Your shoulders probably needed a break after all that scraping.

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    1. Mare's hand is great. No problems at all. He's working full-time on a cool building restoration in downtown Lexington, turning a pre-Civil War commercial building into a townhouse. That's why we didn't get the side porch done last fall!

      I only read a couple of the design blogs (The Lettered Cottage and Centsational Girl) because they tend to keep it real.

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  2. You're an inspiration, really. I have just vowed to stop delaying and making excuses and get stuff done myself.

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    1. Inspiration? Pish. Thanks for keeping in touch with me during my hiatus. If you figure out how to stop delaying and making excuses, will you let me know? It's one of my worst faults.

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  3. Welcome back, missed you. Always good to have a plan. Hope all the bad stuff is over and you can move on. Google "Jelly Legs" I think that might be what caused you to fall and break your collar bone.

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    1. I've never heard of jelly legs before, but I think you're right. The combination of leaping out of bed from a good sleep and the ensuing heated discussion...yep, adrenaline and stress for sure.

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  4. I hear ya! It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and paralyzed. Sometimes, it's all we can do to live daily life, even without the renovations and unfinished projects. Glad to hear from you ... it always is.

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  5. Hey there,

    I'm glad to hear you seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've really enjoy reading your blog over the past couple of years.

    I can definitely relate to the feeling of project burnout -- but your house is looking great -- keep it going!

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    1. Thanks for the encouraging words, Julian.

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  6. 2015 does seem to have gone down as a rather humbling year doesn't it? Hopefully 2016 will let us all get a bit of self-confidence back...

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    1. Humbling. Yes, that's the word for it. I hope 2016 is a great year for both of our Kelly Houses.

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  7. I feel for you on the missing post. I've done that before. Now I hit the save button pretty often when I'm composing posts. I look forward to your posts in 2016.

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    1. I need to learn to hit Save, especially since I have so much "help" from the cats. :)

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  8. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. We have remodeled LOTS in our time. I think there is an ebb and flow to it. You jump into a project...muddle through and then once it's finished realize that eating crappy and working until all hours of the night just wasn't ideal. They you take a breather. It sometimes takes a bit before jumping into the next big project because you know it entails money, less sleep, the mess, the unknown and the crappy meals. I'm guessing you just had a bigger lull this time....your time is coming!! I'm on the lull right now myself...but I know my time will be coming.

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  9. Boy, some of this sounds mighty familiar. 2015 wasn't quite the Year of Suck like it was for you, but a variety of things made me freeze. I just couldn't take steps forward in any direction. Indecision and worry. Just so you know you're not the only one. It happens. I'm just glad to see you back here. I've been super behind on reading "my" blogs and trying to catch up. I'm over the moon to see new posts here. Welcome back!

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