This porch project might be cursed, y'all. No, really.
It all started back in April or so when I thought I could just tear the roof off myself and then saw through the rafters and have the whole shebang torn down in a week or so. Then I had to call in my son to help out, and he caught the porch roof on fire with the sparks from a saw. After that, he called upon one of his friends who used to be a contractor, and it still took them three weeks to tear the dang thing down, during which time Steve (the former contractor) declared that it was the worst porch roof he'd ever seen, and ending with the porch unexpectedly collapsing in a heap. Then we had the problems with the building permit and the evil specter of frost heave.
All that pales in comparison, though, to what happened last week. Last week I ordered reproduction porch posts (which ain't a cheap date, folks) and the company I ordered them from lost my money. Yes, you read that right. They lost my freakin' money. My money is gone. There's a great big hole in my bank account where that money used to be, and a payment to the porch post people, but they claim that the money never showed up in their bank account. They say that nothing like this has ever happened before in the history of their company (which has been in business since 1978) and that they feel real bad about it. They feel bad?! Hey, I'm the one who's out a whole pile of money.
After I freaked out about that and screamed and threw a hammer out into the street and then went in the house and cried (which I've been doing a lot lately and I am not a fan of it) it occurred to me that the new beau might be able to help with this situation, since he's a banker. And he did help. He advised me to file a Disputed Item Inquiry with my bank and he told me that it's absolutely impossible that the money didn't get to the porch post company, since the funds show as a completed transaction on my bank account. "That money's not just floating around out there in space," he said. So I called the bank and they started a Dispute Investigation, and in the meantime the bank put the money back in my account "provisionally", so that's kinda good, but I still don't have any porch posts.
Without porch posts, Mare can't start building the new porch. (The posts are the first thing he needs.) He's had to rearrange the other three jobs that he put on hold when he thought we'd be building my porch this week, so now he won't be able to get to my porch until at least August 25th. That is, if I have porch posts by then....