Thursday, November 21, 2013

I Am Old-er

Satchel Paige once said, "How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?"

I know how old I am.  Forty-six.  Two months from today, I'll turn 47.  I hadn't really given my age a whole lot of thought until I got hurt and they screened me for heart attack and stroke at the hospital.  "Pish," I thought, "I didn't have a heart attack or a stroke.  That happens to old people." To begin with, I know from working in emergency services that those things sometimes happen to young people as well, but it's the slow dawning that I'm not one of the young people anymore that took me aback a bit.  I might be 46-almost-47 in Real Years, but in Jayne Years I'm about 30.  Thirty sounds good.  I can handle being 30.  Most days (before this happened) I felt about 30.  Heck, most days I acted about 30...or 12.  But I'm pushing 50.  My cholesterol is a smidge high, arthritis made itself known about five years ago, my son's pushing 30, and I haven't been able to drink more than 3 beers in a night without a hangover since about 2006.

On Monday I went to the outpatient clinic at the hospital again.  I've been there more in the past six weeks than I have in the past six years.  Chris, the Family Nurse Practitioner in the ortho practice (who should tour the country teaching other health care providers how to be just the right blend of intelligent, attentive and caring) told me that my fracture's healing but not as fast as he'd like it to be.  Apparently, fractures of the clavicle build tissue first, and then bone on top of that.  I have some good tissue building, but no bone growth yet.  Chris explained, "If you were a little kid, your fracture might be completely healed by now.  But because you're--" he paused to look at my chart, probably to get my age.  I helped him out.  "Because I am old."  He laughed, "I wouldn't say old, but I'd say old-er."  He continued, "Because you're older, it takes longer to heal.  I'm not comfortable with you going back to work yet or resuming much activity until you get some good bone growth."  Off work another three weeks, and the only activity I can do with my right arm is some small range of motion exercises, which I've been doing diligently.

I tried to explain to my son how weird it is to know in your head that you're 46, but to feel in your heart much younger, and that realizing you're middle-aged is kind of a kick in the pants.  Dylan said, "Mom, you're only middle-aged if you live to be at least 92.  If you die younger than that, then you're already over the hill."  Thanks, son....

24 comments:

  1. Would snarfing down calcium and vitamin D-3 help with the bone growth?

    In Karen years, I'm about twenty. In real years, I'm old enough to be your mother :-) 46 is the prime of life.

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    1. Great minds think alike! My favorite medic at work, who's one of my best friends, suggested the same thing. I'm eating extra dairy and taking a multivitamin.

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  2. Bummer. I'm 46, and some of these problems are just what got me running, so I didn't end up diabetic and on statins for high cholesterol. But then I've had some problems with running, because, um, I'm 46. So I feel 35, my body is telling me I'm 46, and my hip joints are telling me I'm 73. Like my Daddy says, "growin' old, it ain't for sissies." I do not think you are a sissy by the way. Just discouraged. I wish things progress well from here on out.

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    1. Your daddy is right! We are certainly learning that!

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  3. It's a bummer. Life is like a VCR, just when you figure out how to set the time on the damn thing......everything changes over to DVD.

    You'll figure out how live with an aging body without growing old mentally. The important part is to stay young mentally because once you quit adapting and learning.......life is no longer fun.

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    1. I wish we could fast forward through some things and slow down others. I had to laugh yesterday because my son didn't know what Vine is and I did. Mentally young, I am!

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  4. Welcome to my world.....this getting old ain't for sissies. I'd give anything to go back to my pre-menopausal years. I hope your healing speeds up.

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    1. I dealt with the hot flashes and night sweats last year and I'm pretty much through menopause. That was my first wake up call. If men had to go through that, they'd fall apart.

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  5. I know EXACTLY what you're talking about. That slap in the face, wake up call, or whatever you want to call it - sucks. I don't want to be old - er. But lately I've become that lady that has all the medical issues. If someone asks me how I am I can't say, "Oh, fine thanks," because I'm not fine and the likelihood of me ever being fine again is slim. Getting old - er stinks, but I hope you can at least find some happiness in your new normal.

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    1. It does suck! My son's been diagnosed with degenerative disc disease and Tarlov's cysts in his spine, so he's dealing with the Dante issues you are of never being fine again. I try to remember y'all have a permanent.condition when I'm tempted to whine about my temporary one.

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    2. Dante? Thanks, autocorrect. I meant same.

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  6. Accidents happen. We can't stop living life because we are old - er. Yeah, I wish I were thirty again (I'm 57), but I'm not. Sorry this happened to you in the first place, but now follow the np's orders and rest!

    Hugs,
    Lottie

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  8. Jayne, hope you get healed soon and back to your everyday routine. For years my Dad used to say that he was 29 (he wasn't) and when he got to somewhere in his 70s, he started saying he was 29 on each side and continued with that until he died. Maybe you could say you're 23 on each side?

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    1. Haha! I like that, 23 on each side!

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  9. I hate how they keep checking my height now. Its like their just waiting for me to shrink! I'm 29 people(again)!

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    1. How about when the office visit reports say you're "alert." That's my fav so far :-)

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    2. They keep checking my height too. Because my injury is from passing out, every time I go to the clinic I get a big yellow bracelet that says FALL RISK. Embarrassing.

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  10. I can relate so well since we're very close to the same age. (I'm a little old-er as you say. :-) ) I have to remind myself why I don't always bounce right back and why, on cold-ass weekends like this, every injury I've ever had suddenly awakens again. You know what though? Injury aside, I'll bet either of us could run rings around colleagues half our age. Hang in there, girl! This will be behind you before you know it.

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    1. The older I get, the more I hate winter!! I bet we could run rings around some people half our age!

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    2. The older I get, the more I hate winter!! I bet we could run rings around some people half our age!

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  11. Re tweet - cardiac monitor. I bet you're having fun trying to take a bath or shower, with your clavicle and that thing. You deserve a particularly nice Thanksgiving.

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    1. Oh yes, it's delightful trying to live somewhat normally with all this stuff. I'm going to my best friend's house for Thanksgiving and really looking forward to it.

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