Saturday, October 19, 2013

Not The Smartest

Three weeks post-injury.  Nine more to go.  Ugh.

The first two weeks were ugly.  The less mentioned about those the better.  Suffice it to say that it's possible to move your shoulder or sternum, and therefore your broken collarbone, even while trying your darnedest not to, and that narcotic painkillers are a wonderful thing.

This week has been slightly better as far as my injuries.  The cat-shaped scab fell off my head and left behind a small red divot.  I was pretty disappointed that I won't have a cat-shaped scar on my head to forever mark me as a Crazy Cat Lady.  It's been slightly worse as far as how I'm dealing with inactivity.  I texted my son with a long list of things I thought I might be able to do, and his responses to them varied from "probably not" to "hell no".  

But today I thought I'd figured out something I could do:  run the ShopVac on the floors, which are pretty dusty and furry after three weeks.  The ShopVac was already in the middle of the back bedroom, so I wouldn't have to drag it out of the closet or lift it up the step between the laundry room and the kitchen; there's an easily accessible outlet in the back bedroom (no reaching for it); and it has a great long hose and wand on it, so I won't have to extend my left arm out very far.  I never thought I'd be excited about vacuuming, but I was.  Thrilled, even.  I ran it all around the back bedroom and my bedroom (which took three times longer than normal with only one arm and the restrictions on my movement) and then I went into the kitchen.  I should mention here that I have a contractor-grade ShopVac, so the thing's pretty powerful. Florian Cat's toys were scattered all over the kitchen floor and I was pushing them out of the way with my foot when I sucked up one of them partway into the wand.  The canister of the ShopVac was all the way across the room, so instead of turning the thing off, I pinched the ShopVac hose between my left arm and my body so I could yank the toy out of the wand.  Nobody came over this morning to put my hair in a ponytail for me, so I had a full-on Roseanne Roseannadanna thing going on today.  You can guess what happened next.  Yup.  Sucked my hair right into the ShopVac.  I let go of the wand, thinking gravity would help me.  Not so much.  The ShopVac traveled up my hair and stuck to the crown of my head, and I couldn't pull it off because I'm not supposed to lift either arm, right?  So I hobbled across the room with this thing stuck to my head, turned off the ShopVac, and the wand dropped off my head.  Not the smartest thing I've done lately.

I think I'll go back to sitting on the bed reading a book.  It's safer that way.

21 comments:

  1. Thank heaven it wasn't a Flobee (sp) because you would have a bald spot to match your red divot in your forehead. Yikes!!!

    I'll keep my fingers crossed that someone comes tomorrow and puts your hair in a ponytail. Maybe you need to sign up for a visiting hairdresser instead of a visiting nurse.

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    1. Haha! We had a Flobee at Wentworth. Yeah, I'm glad I didn't shave off half my hair. The Miley Cyrus look would not be a good one for me!

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  2. Take it easy! Keeping you in our prayers!

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  3. I just peed my pants. OMG, I could totally picture that. I'm laughing with you, not at you.

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    1. No, really, you can laugh at me! lol

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  4. Oh, golllleeeeee. Where's the hidden camera when you need it? That could have gone viral on YouTube.

    Don't hurt yourself. I mean, don't hurt yourself worse.

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    1. Hey, I never thought of that. I'll start wearing a video camera at all times, just in case something funny happens. :)

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  5. I have to say that your story made me think of this cute little video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osdp2nrScnc

    Hope that you heal swiftly!

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  6. I'm with Christine, but poor you! I would absolutely go nuts so I envy your dedication to healing.

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    1. I AM going nuts. Clearly!

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    2. Hang in there, chicakdee! Hang in there.

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  7. I saw your tweet over there to the right and now I wish I'd driven through Lexington on my way down to Springfield two weekends ago. I was worried about turning into Weird Lady from Another Blog Barging Into Real Life. This blog post proves that your injury/recovery time sucks royally, but I'm not sure it's funny. I'm sure it's maddening. Hang in there, and enjoy making people wait on you hand and foot. How often does that happen?

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    1. Barge in, Laura! That'd be pretty cool.

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    2. Barge in, Laura! That'd be pretty cool.

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  8. Re your tweet; "Bill Veeck said "There are only two seasons, winter and baseball." Winter begins today."

    Where I live it's said there are four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction.

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    1. I couldn't live there. I hate, hate, hate winter!

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  9. Replies
    1. I'm better! Still not back to work yet. Post with all the news on the way.

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  10. Replies
    1. Thanks, Christine. I'm better. Hanging in there.

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