Thursday, March 25, 2010

My Little Hyena

I read everyone's comments about the lack of wallpaper behind the drapes in the dining room and for awhile I still thought, Meh...I'm gonna leave it like it is.

But then I read this comment from Milah:

"I hope in few years you aren't blogging about how your grandchild was hiding behind those curtains during a nice dinner party when suddenly they pulled a curtain down and revealed to your guests your walls were never finished. Eww...that would be embarrassing. ;D"

And I remembered what my son, Dylan, was like as a small child.  I called him my little hyena.  Keep reading—you'll understand why.

Once Dylan was playing the front yard with his dog, which was running in circles around him as he galloped across the yard dragging a piece of black tape behind him....or so I thought.  When the dog's barking began to sound urgent, I went outside to see what Dylan had in his hands.  It was a 4-foot-long blacksnake.

He sprained his ankle but managed to escape more serious injury when he leaped from a treehouse at the babysitter's while holding a pillowcase above his head which he apparently thought would act as a parachute.

Did you know that if you should happen to touch Elvis Presley's Harley while touring the car museum at Graceland that very bright lights will flash and a whoop-whoop-whoop alarm will sound?  Dylan knows this.

He went through an extended phase of thinking that he was Wolverine of the superhero X-Men, a phase that included his taping toothpicks to the ends of his fingers and shrugging off any treatment of his cuts and scrapes by declaring, "I am Wolverine!  I have awesome healing powers!"

The bathroom flooded once because Dylan flushed a pair of his cotton training pants down the toilet.  I asked him, "Baby, why did you do such a thing?"  He replied reasonably, "Because they were dirty, Mama."

His Wolverine-like healing powers were put to the test when he was hit by a car outside Mare's house.  We ran into the street to check on him and he stood up, brushed himself off, and said indignantly, "Not my fault!  I looked both ways and there was no car!"  He was correct.  The car had been stopped at the corner and turned left just as Dylan darted into the street.  (He got a skinned knee and elbow out of this accident, so maybe he was right about that Wolverine thing.)

We were shopping at the famous Country Club Plaza when Dylan scampered over to the escalator and said, "What does this red button do?"  After he pushed it, we discovered it shuts down the escalator and summons security.

So...considering all that...and the strong possibility that Dylan's child might act just like him...I do believe I'll go ahead and put that wallpaper behind the curtains. 

4 comments:

  1. LOL! This cracked me up, I love it!

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  2. Howling, I mean HOWLING with laughter. O. M. G. That was soo funny. Your son and my son, oh yeah, two peas in a pod. Yep, Milah's right. You need to paper those corners.

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  3. Sarah (Dylan's wife) knows all these stories. She says whenever she thinks they might want to have a baby, she remembers all this and thinks, "We can wait awhile." LOL!

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